I think I’m in love.
It wasn’t easy, though. It wasn’t easy at all, no sir. It’s trite and boring to go through the backstory and all the little details, let’s just say the road swerved where I was sure it was going straight, let’s just say that there was no entry where I’m pretty sure I’m driven in before. It wasn’t easy. But I think were in a good place now.
That doesn’t mean it’s all rosy. We might still have couples therapy ahead of us, years of it even, because, you know, they make it so difficult to love them. I’m pretty much willing to do what they want me to do (maybe that’s part of the problem, maybe it’s not healthy to let one side of the relationship dictate all the terms?), but they make it so hard to be with them. You clearly know when you’ve done something wrong, but it’s rarely clear what you’ve done wrong, much less how to fix it — and much, much less clear how to avoid doing it again. They don’t seem like they want to be loved, to be honest. Which is not healthy, either. It’s only human to want love and attention and to perhaps look oneself in the mirror and say “how can I become better, more loveably, more easy to be around?” That doesn’t mean you’re changing the core of yourself, it just means you’re human.
But they’re so pretty, I can’t help myself. And when you somehow manages to get things to work and don’t upset anything, it’s great. It can be some of the best times of your life.
I’ll give this Open Source software a try.
